Forget census records and People magazine photo spreads. The best baby names are all right here in Maine. You’re welcome.

1. Dirigo. For kids born to lead on the playground and the playing fields. Naming your baby after the state motto broadcasts to the world that s/he is in charge from the get-go.

2. Moxie. It’s not just a disgusting soda that people pretend to like in a show of state spirit. It’s also shorthand for a certain type of ballsy dame we could use more of around here.

Yukon Cornelius

3. Cornelius. AKA the brewer, butcher, barista, or Baysider. 

4. Etsy. Everyone in Portland either has a baby or an online shop for their handmade/vintage jewelry/knitwear/reclaimed wood kitchen implements/artisanal burlap wedding gifts, so you might as well marry the two.

5. Whoopie. As in pie. Sweet, fun, and worth going to the mat for.

6. [sound of seagulls swarming the pier]

7. Chandler. Maine’s nautical history + 90s nostalgia = twofer!

8.Shape of the state of Maine

9. The County. Like The Situation, but less GTL, more PSL (potatoes, snowmobiling, Limestone).

10. CURDO. All caps. That’s right. Our beloved on-air friend may have moved on to other gigs, but his affable appreciation for music and Maine makes him a Portland prize. Here’s hoping he keeps the Mark-a-thon tradition alive.

 

 

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Jessica Thomas is a writer, mother, and postpartum doula in Portland, Maine. There were three other Jessicas in her third grade class.